24.Kissing the lipless.

I was talkning in my sleep and I wondered what it ment.

We spent that entire night together, our hands and feet braided into the others, and even though he was kind of good looking, intresting and we had talked for hours about art, music and life I could not help but think that he was so not the man that I wanted to braid my fingers with.

Even so, our fingers were crossed together for eternitys and even if my appearence was subtile and cold my whole insides were on fire.
That was the first time I had ever felt something as strong as that feeling.

They were like fever-esce strikes of lightning inside my stomach, making me nauseaus every fifth minute. Hours afterwards I was burning up inside and my heart made double skips every second. For every second his hand was in my hand the feeling got worse.

I´d had my whole life to prepare myself for this moment, and I could of so easily moved away my hand from his, but
I just, couldn´t. And that is all. I couldn´t.

I am strong but there is still only so much strength a person can have before losing a little bit of sense.
He had told me some days ago that there was nothing going on between us and that was just fine with me but now I knew that that was one of the few times that he lied.

There was so much between us that it took all of my strength not to go further,
not to take it
were my body wanted
to take it
but were my mind soul and heart
never would had forgiven me for.