I have been writing this novel on and off since 2007. Its main purpose has always been to leave something behind. Something that I made with my hands and desktop and thoughts. Over the years I have had the pleasure to hear so many wonderful things because of this novel.
One big dream is left. The one to actually get this out there. In print. or, as hannah horvath would have it, an e-book. This dream is yet to be realized. I'm in the slow process of re-writing my words (those that I started writing at age 18 with a very limited english vocabulary and even less experience of life, love and loss. So, as you could expect, they need to be processed. They need to be refined. I am going to stop sounding like a douche now. There.) so it might be a while before the thing is finished. (will it ever be?)
I wanted to give something though. If anyone is still out there waiting.
I hereby give you the prelude.
When
our ribs were first invented, they were constructed to support much more weight
than now.
But with
the original sin piercing into our bones, our ribs slowly lost
their strength and made us fragile beings. They were in such a delicate state that they were unable to shield our organs like they
were supposed to. Because of this, we since then carry around holes
in our hearts. Some holes are made by other people, when they break
or steal something that's very dear to us. Others make them by
themselves, with mistakes made in their unstoppable youth. I spent
years trying to cover up the hole in my heart. Sometimes, if I ran
exceptionally fast, I could feel the pressure of air passing through
it. It was as if my whole insides were hollow. Inside these fragile
ribs, lays different kinds of hearts. As they all have holes in them,
they can never become what they really are. So they're forced to
become something else. Some are made of teflon. Some are simply
fluttering.
My
heart was left open, and the hole left bigger. Like an egg without
anything left inside. I was left with an eggshell heart.
This
is the story of that, and everything else. Our story starts in 2006,
when I was seventeen. It ends in 2012, when I've by far, lost count
of the days of my youth.
