23. I have never met a girl like that that makes my life shine so bright and clear, I wish I never held her dear, never held her dear.

Even though it was her original idea it was he who had made the first move. He could see her broken, shattered heart and wanted to instantly heal it. She looked into his boyish eyes but all she could see was her former lover. As he looked into her confusing eyes, an air of desperation and insanity went upon her. They kissed for minutes, hours, days.
They can´t recall, they can´t remember.
She decided there and then that she was thru with eternal love.
She felt absolutely nothing for this boy and she never wanted to. To stop her heart from bleeding away she made it hard as stone so that no one could ever break it again.

He leaned foward and started to kiss her neck.
He was in a daze and even though she was concious of every minute of that night there was still some particular daze that went over her too. He moved closer and closer until their lips met, and he kissed her for what seemed as an eternity.

When you take the love out of kissing, what do you have left?
Lips?
and afterwards she was shaking non-stop
without any reasonable explanation.
When you take away the heartbeats from hearts
what do you have left?
Dead organs?

That night she considered seriously not letting anybody kiss her ever again.

It was a strange feeling being so close to someone without the butterflies, without the heartbreaking thought of that at any second he could change his mind and move his lips away from mine.

It was particulary strange to lay next to someone you did not count every single heartbeat of.
It was strange but surprisingly not hard to do at all.

It was an reassurance. The warmth of another human being was better than a malfunctioning radiator next to the bed in wicht I had spent the last couple of months hiding under.
He looked into her eyes, smiling, waiting for a response. Her brain knew what to do, to smile back, to show him some emotion whatsoever but her heart did not recive the message. She only stared back at him, with icecold eyes. He ignored the gesture and stayed close. As she was in denial he aswell was choosing not to see her empty, beaten down heart.
Choosing to belive something else.