42.I belive love will soon come to me, it´s building up in me.

I have managed to realize that the sum of people who actually leave your life for good are very few.
The most of them live on, in a different way, in another city or like a silent explosion in disguise. They live on, just like I do.

If he forgets me I am not going to dissapear.
I am still here living my life crowded in with 6 billion other people in the world.
So is he.
If I manage to meet him as all these similar lives all over the planet keeps going on living, breathing and bumping into other lives, then so be it.
But the way we were then, when we were young and in love and senseless, giving ducks lessons in sympathy, that time has died in the presence.
Every now and then we try to deny our past.
Maybe it´s too hurtful to realize that we in the past felt so strong
for the people who would come to hurt us so much in the future.


My new lover found out that neither my heart or my skin, my lips or my eyes were dedicated to him.
That I had lost it that night at the party, someone had told him what he knew all along.
That I was pure misery. That I would hurt him. He said he didn´t care, that it was ok but I knew that it was not.
He said he´d call. He did not call. I do not blame him and I do not blame myself either.