20. I love your depression and I love your double-chin.

Today, 12.09 PM
I do not love you today. Today, my love is all out of stock. Maybe it´s temporary, maybe it´s forever. I just know that today I woke up feeling realistic and you are not someone I want to give my heart to only so you can eat it up and leave it like an eggshell.

Today you are not the apple of my eye
today you are not the object of my affection
today you are close not to being even a friend
today for some unexplainable reason I do not feel love or obsession or adoration for you, at all.
I don´t even know if I want to see you.

Maybe it´s a form of a self-protection mechanism of this heart of mine.
I do not know, and I am not keen on finding out either. It just feels so nice not to be dragging around my big malfunctioning heart all over the place again today. Maybe tomorrow it will start all over again, but for today, I can breath.

The plan lasted two days, five hours and 47 minutes.

Then I was back to wondering how your day was going, what you were wearing.
If it was your green shirt. If it was your favorite shoes. If it was those gloves I bought you.
Or, I didn´t buy them, they were originally mine. They were pink and actually to small for you but I knew that it was chilly outside and as you left my apartament that morning I thought it was a fair trade as I had already taken your white shirt. You made me swore I would never take it off. I made you swore the same with the gloves.And those were pink.Really pink.